Friday, May 25, 2012

Is the Green Eyed Monster in your Relationship?
According to Decker jealousy is a negative emotion triggered by an actual or suspected loss of a mates sexual services or a mates affections (2010). He goes on by providing evidence that jealousy negatively affects both men and women but with different degrees. For example, women are more jealous of emotional infidelity and men of sexual infidelity. He shows evidence by providing a study that proves that this is the case universally.
Jealousy motivates some people to behave, often, in negative ways. According to an article by Living Strong (2010) jealousy can create feelings of mistrust, envy, doubt, and resentment in a relationship. It can also cause feelings of low self-esteem, sadness, fear, anger, and grief in an individual. These negative feelings often result in breakups, therapy, depression, and physical and verbal abuse. Thus, what makes jealousy unhealthy is how a person reacts and how it affects him/her and their relationship.
But, jealousy can also be a healthy emotion. Several articles by Living Strong also say that healthy jealousy is possible. It can motivate you to work harder to improve your relationship. For example, if you feel that your partner is spending too much time at the office, you may cook dinner more often, become more sexually intimate, go out on more dates and so on. Also, moderate and controlled jealousy can also communicates to your partner that you love them, care about them, and that they are very important to you. In all, positive jealousy is healthy because it has the potential to improve a relationship.
Although feelings of jealousy is almost is impossible to prevent, there are two important steps you can take to manage jealousy (Living Strong 2010). First, confront your fears by asking yourself what you are scared of, and where does that fear stem from; and consider your partner’s fears as well. Second, acknowledge your triggers and your partner’s triggers too. Second, communicate! Not only what the triggers and fears are but also the love you feel for one another. Being truthful and open to yourself and your partner will help you seek an action plan to resolve or manage jealousy.

Is your jealousy healthy, or is it holding your relationship back? Take this dating quiz and find out.


Decker, L. (2010). Motivation

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