Exercise Addiction (Post 3)

Last year I had a roommate who obsessively exercised, and I would consider her an exercise addict. Everyday she woke up at 6 am and went to the gym for 1-2 hours. I thought she was crazy for waking up so early to go to the gym. I went one time with her and she had to force me to wake up. She was a lot more motivated than me! Her motivation was the increase in mood and endorphins after she exercised. She kept telling that it felt great after finishing an exercise routine. After weeks of asking me to go with her, I finally gave in.

My motivation the night before was very high. I went to bed early, since I need a certain amount of sleep. When my alarm went off at 5 in the morning, I jus wanted to snooze. My motivation plummeted, until my roommate pured cold water all over me. Then I started to shiver and that motivated to get up and get out of my wet bed and clothes, a result of the negative feedback system.

When I went with her, we jogged for about 15 minutes to the gym (we lived in the apartments on campus). I was already tired by the time we got to the gym; my roommate was not. She actually had more energy, which I now see was a result of tolerance. Then she immediately went to the treadmill for 30 minutes, while I rested for about 15 minutes before going on the treadmill. Then she started lifting weights and did pushups/situps, which lasted for about 30 minutes. She used 15 lb weights, while I used 5 lb weights, and she did twice as many repitions. Finally I was ready to go, but she wanted to go on the elliptical. I left without her, walking back. About 45 mintues aftre I returned to the apartment, she returned. She had so much energy and felt great. I, on the other hand was exhausted.

She told me that she did this routine every day, and sometimes added in swimming and/or cycling. When she was not able to exercise for atleadt 2 hours a day, she would become cranky, have a headache, and be anxious the whole day. If she was in that kind of mood, I knew she was not ablee to get to the gym.




Addiction Behavior:
What is "exercise addiction"?

Addiction

Addiction has the potential to limit one's well being and lead to the overall destruction of one's life. Drugs can have an extremely powerful hold over one, especially those who are genetically prone to addiction. I have always found it ironic that alcohol, cafeine and cigarettes are legal to use, sell and buy, however, drugs such as marijuana, could lead one into jail time. I am not one of those "marijuana should be legal advocates", I just find the situtation to be hypocrticial. There are a high number of fatalities from drinking and driving, alcohol poisoning, lung cancer and cancer caused by secondhand smoke. Birth defects could even be apparent in mothers who drink and/or smoke while pregnant. With alcohol and cigarettes being a contributor to a many diseases and fatalities, it is a wonder how and why they are even legal. In this case, it is an individual effort. There are those who are fully capable of having one drink, while at a social event, while there are others who can go through a case of beer in a sitting. The number of drink related car accidents, deaths and poisoning would decrease, should the individual control their drinking, or have a designated driver. This is not always the case, for some are prone to alcoholism or are unable to control their usage. I used to volunteer at Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. They were extremely spiritual as well as eye opening. To hear the stories of those crippled by alcohol is heart wrenching and they need to be heard and helped. To take alcohol off the shelves would not be the answer (Prohibition obviously proves this). It is important, however, to make sure that when drinking, we as individuals take responsibility and drink in legal amounts. It is also important to have designated drivers and a responsible social network. For those individuals who do not have this support group, there are many free programs out there that can help. One of the young men at the AA meetings I attended was waiting for his sentance. He had killed a young girl while drinking and driving. To live with such guilt is unbearable. My heart truly goes to this young man and the young girl's loved ones. A situation like this could be prevented with the right help. Addiction goes further than alcohol and cigarettes. There are a countless number of drugs on the market. Experimentaion of drugs is common and sometimes it happens to the best of us, however, addiction is a serious condition and a terrible deamon to fight. I, along with many others, have lost a loved one to addiction. Even with many avenues that could help an individual, sometimes, the addiction is too overbearing and powerful. There are drugs on the market that only take one hit to become addicted. Even though it sounds repetitive or sometimes socially lame, being drug free really is the best way to be.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdAu5HcMuBs

Food Neophobia: Meat Is My Novel Food.

As a child, I can't remember being extremely picky when it came to food. If it was in front of me and I thought tasted good, I ate it. It used to be such a simple concept. I didn't show much food neophobia because I grew up with grandparents from Germany and Italy, and sometimes the food we ate was more on the novel side, and it didn't seem to bother me. I remember eating liverwurst and loving it, which now repulses me (being that it is grounded up pork liver in a spreadable form). As I grew up though, I slowly started to part ways with all these novel foods that I once thought tasted good, as I became more conscious of what I was actually eating. Eventually, at the age of 15, I became a vegetarian, and have been for 7 years now.

I don't eat any meat, including poultry/chicken, any seafood, or eggs. It got to a point where I was thinking too in depth about what I was actually eating, and it bothered me. According to the Food Neophobia Scale, questions such as willingness to try, expected liking, actual liking, and willingness to try these foods again are addressed. All these questions have been posed to me while I've been a vegetarian. "Do you think you'll ever try meat again? Do you just not like it? Have you ever tried it?" When I answer these questions, I find myself a definite neophobic. My willingness to try new foods, especially meats, is not at all. I've developed such a simplistic pallet being a vegetarian; I do not stray from the same few things that I eat on any every day basis. Therefore meat and seafood have become such a novel food for me, although it's technically considered a familiar food within our culture.

Food preference is considered a universal motive, however our personal preferences can be so different it makes you wonder what triggers these likes and dislikes between each individual. Many people also ask me if I had to eat meat to survive, would I? Of course I would. However, to just eat any type of food (especially coming from an animal) just to try it, I never would. Unless someone's betting me money to do it, then maybe. But it'd have to be a lot of money. One of my favorite channels is the Travel Channel, and on it is a show called Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. On it, he travels to different countries and experiences their food culture; he is an example of the exact opposite of me, a true neophilic, or someone who is willing to try new food. He not only is willing to try anything and possibly like it, but in the video below he eats one of our universal fears: a beating cobra's heart.

Neophobia is based on its survival value; we limit ourselves to what we choose to eat so we do not become ill or poisoned by consuming something of the unknown. However, it's also important to not become too neophobic and not eat a proper variety of foods for good nutrition. I have to take a handful of vitamins everyday and get bloodwork done more often because of vegetarianism, which is not extremely ideal. However, I can't see my food neophobia diminishing any time soon, so I must keep up with this lifestyle in order to stay healthy.

Universal Motives: The Evolved Function of Anger

Universal motives are present in all societies around the world. In Chapter 3 of our book we learned about evolution and motivation. Brown (1991) made a list of traits that are categorized together for their relevance to universal motives. Anger, for example is a characteristic of the universal motive, emotion. Anger is a powerful and prevalent emotion motive across all cultures. It occurs in infants and is part of the basic drives of the human species. Emotional behaviors can be motivated by the presence of anger, fear, disgust, sadness, and happiness along with their accompanying facial expressions.

I read an article called Formidability and the logic of human anger by Aaron Sell, Leda Cosmides, and John Tooby, in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, September 2009. This article addressed why anger exists and the evolutionary function it has as an emotion. This article suggests a recent model -the recalibrational theory of anger-which states that the regulatory program governing anger evolved in the service of bargaining to resolve conflicts of interest in favor of the angry individual. This model predicts individuals which abilities to inflict cost (strength) or to confer benefits (attractiveness) translate into more leverage in bargaining over conflicts of interest.

Throughout evolution a man’s strength was the best indicator of his ability to fight and inflict costs on others by injuring or killing them. Women’s attractiveness reflects health, fertility, and offspring fitness and the more attractive a woman the more valuable the granting of sexual access is to constitute a powerful a benefit. Attractive people have more mating value, are viewed favorably, and have more weight placed on their welfare. The results of this study support the hypothesis that anger is important in the resolution of conflict in the favor of the angry individual, with the stronger male and more attractive female being more prone to anger and better able to inflict costs and bargain.

universal motivation of black women to perm their hair

The Universal Motivation to be Thin

I am writing this post on behalf of women everywhere. The motivation to lose weight has been a struggle for most of society. We see the adds everywhere, we hear the gossip in magazines, about healthy women who are "too fat," when they are perfectly normal. Hollywood creates a picture that the skinnier you are, the prettier you are, the more attention you'll get and the more popular you'll be.

Most of us have fallen victim to these images, whether we see it or not. We are constantly on diets and comparing ourselves to others. It is a constant battle for us to accept ourselves. These images have created the our universal motive to be thin, and we will have everything.

Ellen brought this issue to light, with the girls from Glamour magazine. We have been starving for the truth, the truth that not all women have a size 1 frame, and starving ourselves to depict a certain image will not result in happiness. Dove started with its adds with normal women and step by step, our universal motive will be happy and healthy, no matter what size we are.

Click to watch the clip

You Changed My Life

In the video we watched in class it was discussed to write a 300 word testimonial to someone who has changed your life in a positive way, so here goes....

Dear Heather, With helping raise my brother and I brought huge responsibility on a young teenager but the life lessons you taught me could never be replaced. You taught me how to be a better person inside and out. You raised me with amazing morals that have stuck with me throughout my life. You taught me that my emotions were gifts from my soul and how instead of hiding them how I should embrace them. You taught me the gift of Mother Earth which has brought me to the position I am at in Stockton. You taught me to respect every living thing because it is well deserved. Most importantly you taught me that the Universe gives back only what you put into it.

My sister is an amazing person and an even more amazing guider. It doesn’t matter if we live in different continents we are still just as close as we ever were. She is my inner soul and guided light. My sister is my Motivation for most of my accomplishments I have achieved in life.

Is it Attraction or the Perfect Checklist...Sex Appeal

Who knew that when walking down the halls, grocery shopping, or drinking at a bar, noticing someone of the opposite sex, and labeling them as being attractive just means that we are simply checking off a list of predetermined characteristics. It is subconsciously engraved in our brains the features of those who we consider attractive and who possess the genes to have healthy offspring.

Instinctively our minds know who the perfect mate for each of us is, or at least which qualities to look for. Men are “programmed” to look for feminine looking faces, higher pitched voices, and curvy features. While females look for the exact opposite in men, masculine features, low, deep voices with broad body types. I think we can all agree that these are normally the types; we let our eyes linger on more than others.

Sex is a powerful motive that drives people into different behaviors. Companies use sexually suggestive photos in order to sell their products, a prime example is the restaurant Hooters, sex sells. Humans are driven by sex appeal and the list of stereotypical characteristics that most cultures find attractive. Driven by instinct or innate visions of what is considered attractive and necessary for survival.

Animal Instincts

Last week we discussed the topic of human and animal instincts. Although psychologists don't really rely on instincts as a source of motivation as much anymore, it is still such a remarkable trait we possess. The video I posted at the bottom is an example of an animal instinct which was aired on CBS News. A little boy was saved by his dog while a cougar was close by. A dog has an obligation to his/her owner. They are extremely smart animals and very protective. The dog sensed fear and danger and decided to take a chance without second guessing himself in order to save his owner's life.

I do have a similar experience. Actually two. My first dog was a mix of German Shepard and a Collie. His name was Fetcher. One of the sweetest dogs known to man and so very calm. First example of Fetcher's intelligence and instincts were exemplified when I was about 8 years old. I live on a mountain in North Jersey where all you have for miles are trees and more trees. My friend and I were about to go into my pool when I heard a scream from my mom and saw my dog bust open our screen door and charge into the backyard after something. My friend and I ran back into the house clueless of what was going on and then realized my dog had spotted a bear coming towards the pool where my friend and I were. I've never seen my dog exert so much energy and just took off into the woods after this bear. Two days went by and my dog still had not returned. My family was devastated, thinking we had lost my dog. Later on that night he came back, completely unharmed and as happy as can be.
Next experience we encountered with Fetcher was when I was 12 years old. My dad thought he was invincible and didn't care to get the triple bypass surgery which he needed deseperately. Needlessly to say my father was constantly in and out of the hospital because of medical issues. Unfortunately, Fetcher had an instinct that something was not right one night. Everyone was in bed and normally my dog would be sleeping as well. Instead he was running around the house, kept jumping on my mom, hitting her with his paw and constantly crying. He would then run down the stairs to where my father was and stand by his side until he realized my mom still wasn't awake. He continued to do this until finally my mom realized Fetcher was trying to tell her something. She followed Fetcher downstairs to see my father. He had just had a heart attack and Fetcher would not leave his side. Sadly enough, that day my father's life was taken from him. But I'll never forget Fetcher's effort in trying to save my father's life.

Instincts are an amazing thing. They can change your life or save someone else's in the process. One thing that intrigues me about instincts is that they are never second guessed actions, they are internal dispositions. An animal or human's instinct never ceases to amaze me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQvGDSNcfR0

Work and the Profit Motive

 In the video link below Dan Pink illustrates recent studies that change our perception on the profit motive. An increase in reward will improve performance on mechanical related tasks, but in tasks that require rudimentary cognitive skill a higher reward would lead to poorer performance. This study was repeated across cultures and always demonstrated the same result, baffling the traditional economic ideology of the profit motive.
  It was found that money is a good motivator for simple mechanical tasks. However, for improved performance in work that requires cognitive skill and creativity, studies show that people are more motivated by having autonomy, self direction, the ability to master skills, and a sense of purpose. Naturally this required them being paid a decent salary.
    I think that this shows that people in leadership positions should avoid micromanaging the employees who have tasks that require cognitive skills and creativity. I think this would help an organization which has a well defined purpose to be exceptionally successful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc

Psychoactive Drugs- Smoking

Okay Second Post..

The reading that caught my attention most was about the psychoactive drugs. I have a lot of friends with diffewrent drug addictions and it is very interesting to me why people chooses to do these things knowing the harm it can cause to their bodies. I myself have a nicotine and caffeine addiction but I'm working on quitting smoking.

Smoking cigarettes delivers nicotine to the brain which is the major psychoactive drug found in them. For those of you who do not know, smoke from cigarettes also contains ammonia, arsenic, and cyanide. The smoke also gives off carbon monoxide which is a colorless and odorless gas that is highly poisonous and prevents the blood from utilizing oxegyn.

When a smoker first trys it, they react negatively but eventually get used to it and enjoy it. I myself coughed and hated the first time buit then I got sucked in to the world of smoking. It can be very hard to quit because it does make you feel good after you do it. It helps to relax you and get through a busy and stressful day. Unfortunately, when people try to quit they can have serious withdraw symptoms such asirratibility, restlessness, anxiety, depression, hostility, difficulty concentrating and hunger.

Here is a little video I found comparing heroin and nicotine. It involves things we are also learning in perception so I thought everyone might find it interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pItCNShOd-o

What is Alcoholism? (College Health Guru)

Psychoactive DSrug

Emotions and Anger

Here is my first post .. it had been made as a comment by accident. I finally figured this thing out haha. The book says "A person's consciousness is often deluged with sensations like cold, hot, thirst, hunger, and pain. These sensations serve to motivate specific actions in order to alleviate their unpleasantness."

I think that this is true and instead of writing my own post I wasnted to add to this one. I also understnadi thqat is is unethical to test certain intense emotions and I too have witnessed anger in the home. My mother has alot of issues she is unwilling to get help for and so she takes things out on me. High school was when things starting getting worse. She is conctantly putting me down and saying mean things because she is unable to control me and how I think. I guess you could say her anger motivates her to behave in the way she does. Then you have my dad who grew up in a strict family setting and who just finished 30+ years in the F.B.I. and also went Afganistan on special business. He probably has P.T.S.D. and sometimes his anger makes him throw things and yell. My emotions miotivate me to leave the situations when the occur and retreat back to school. Also because of my family I'm more motivated then ever to prove them wrong when they doubt I'll finish.

Emotions help motivate us to survive. If we did not react to things emotionally. we would be just like the animals. We need to be carfeul however when we let our emotions be our motivation. We have to make sure that its influencing our decisions in a postive way other ways things can spiral out of control.

Addictive

What motivates anyone to do drugs? Is it peer pressure? Is it natural human curiosity? Is it biological? Is it the need to fill an internal void or just a recreational escape from the pressures of our own typical lives? These reasons could be related to any person who has attempted drug or alcohol consumption. It seems to be human nature to always search for a type of pleasure or euphoria. Psychoactive drugs, such as cocaine, marijuana, alcohol, opiates, etc can provide that. A psychoactive drug is any chemical substance that alters a person’s mood and behavior as a result of the drug’s function of he brain (Deckers,78). A simple motivation such as the environment or people you are with can lead to a normal person trying psychoactive drugs out for recreational use. For example, being college students, how many parties have you been to where alcohol and drugs were being used? How many of you have used any drugs? The stress of moving out, moving on, new surroundings, and pressure to make something of yourself can really motivate someone to want to let loose and not think. For some it will only be an experiment, an impulse, or just plain curiosity. For others, it can be the beginning of an addiction. (Deckers,77-80)
Drugs like alcohol, cannabis, amphetamines, and cocaine can alter a person’s mood. It is a safe bet that if drugs started out making you feel bad, few people would use them. The truth is that each drug can have a different effect, whether it is a relaxed sleepy feeling of bliss or an enthusiastic burst of energy, it makes a person feel good. Most people experience such a “positive Feeling” when they consume drugs that it is hard to match that incredible high with anything else again. Addicts begin to “crave” the substance. They want that amazing feeling back. The only way to get that feeling again is to use again. The more and more someone uses the more of a tolerance they build for their drug of choice. When a person begins using on a regular basis they can build up a tolerance for whatever substance they are using. When a person becomes tolerant of alcohol or any other drug, this means that it they will need to consume more then their usual amount in order to get that same “good” feeling. Once that feeling is gone they usually go through withdraw symptoms such as anxiety, vomiting, depression, etc. These negative effects can become a motivation to find another fix of their drug of choice. They want to replace the sick, bad feelings with good feelings. (Deckers,77-82)
These good feelings come from what is known as “The Pleasure Center” of the Brain. When a drug in consumed different chemicals, neurons, and hormones are released throughout the brain which create that pleasurable feeling. That pleasurable feeling can become a weakness for those who have inherited the genetics of an addict. A person who has an addict in the family is more likely to be susceptible to becoming an addict. A person’s environment and the people that they surround themselves with are also a common cause addiction. If a person’s parents are consuming drugs in front of them with no consequences, then that person may not understand the risks they are taking when doing drugs. Finally, a person’s personality can be another motivation. An impulsive person or a person that may not have a tight grip on reality is more likely to try and become addicted to drugs. Some people can not see that their family or future is more important then their next high. (Deckers, 80-89)

Music is Everywhere

Music is everywhere. Everywhere people are, music follows. It is one thing that leaps from culture to culture, continent to continent, transcending any barrier that stands between people. Cultures everywhere have unique, indigenous music forms that celebrate the diversity of specific groups of people.

Why is this?

Music, because of its global influence, is considered a universal motivator. According to Brown (1991), music is a characteristic of the category "Aesthetics", a universal motivator. Once again, these universal motivators are facets of life that exist in and drive every culture throughout the world. Because of its universal status, music is just as integral to people's lives as is their sense of self or their emotions.

Our response to music is implicit. No parent ever has to teach their child to dance, feel a rhythm, hum a melody or clap their hands just as no parent has to teach their child to yell or scream if they are angry. From an evolutionary perspective, music's innateness may have developed out of necessity. Music may have uplifted tribes when food is scarce and morale is low. Music has, after all, been a part of human culture for at least 30,000 years. There are countless rituals amongst groups from all over the world that have spiritual celebrations centered around music. From ancient rituals to any party anywhere today, music is at the center. Being at the center of celebrations and parties for tens of thousands of years, it is not surprising that music also promotes group bonding and stimulates social activity. Even through the online social networking revolution of the past few years, music is still dominant. MySpace music accounts are extremely popular, Facebook pages of musicians have thousands of fans, and eight of the top-ten all-time most-viewed YouTube videos are music related. By the way, as of the time I posted this blog, the top six music-related videos on YouTube totaled to over 1.1 billion views. According to Darwin, musicians had a higher rate of being selected as a sexual partner as well, which is probably why so many people try to play guitar...

Studying infants seems to show that at least the appreciation, if not the understanding, for music comes early in life. Infants have been observed and studies have shown that infants are calmer when mothers sing to their children, rather than speak to them. Infants do indeed show preference for types of music, preferring harmony over dissonance. One study also showed that by the end of their first year, infants were able not only to memorize simple melodies, but were able to recognize them when they were played in a different key (Trehub 2001).

It is clear that music is not just a fad, a phase, or annoying noise. Through studying infants, psychologists have learned that infants, even before two months of age, have musical preference. From that point on, music is integral in every culture and everyone is exposed to music (often) in their lives. I feel that even though research shows music to be innate, which I take to mean that I would be able to understand music to a certain degree no matter what, I don't believe this to be the most important reason that people love music so much. Through music, a skilled musician is able to express any emotion through their instrument. Unlike a painting or a sculpture, which is permanent when completed, pieces of music are never played just once and never altered. Music can be recorded, but to the artist who performed the piece, every note is an expression of the soul. I play several instruments, and I know this to be the case for me: to become "one" with an instrument and explain any story through sound and not words is an incredible feeling, and being able to play with others or in front of others enhances the experience many times. Music is a pure form of expression, which is why it is universally celebrated.

I find the topic on mate selection very interesting. I took a class on the psychology of evolution and many of things we learned about in this class are relevant to that class. What I find interesting is WHY we actually select the mates we do. Good genes are related to good looks and what people call physically attractive. However, the reason we know how to look for these things is because our ancient ancestors had to discover who was the best mate. In order to do this, women looked for a large, strong man because they had the proper genes to survive. They were best equipped for hunting and protecting, and ultimately would be the best possible chance to continue passing on the genes through generations. Men searched for women with good looks and body structure which were examples of healthy fertility. Its funny that people still look for people with these same traits. We don't realize why we actually find these types of people attractive, its just natural instinct.
The media also promotes this line of thinking. People are taught that a skinny figure and good looks are the desirable traits in a mate. People conform to what the media presents to them. They apply this to their lives as well as their mating rituals. They look for the traits that the media tells them are positive and better than others and try to find it in their future mate. People do not realize that the mate selection is not always a natural occurrence but, in fact, influenced by outside factors such as the media.
Factors of mate selection are also influenced in ways that don't revolve around physical attraction. In this generation factors such as parental influence change the types of people that their offspring are attracted to. If the parents have a healthy relationship and the child likes the way their parents act, then they may be more inclined to like someone who reminds them of their parents. In contrast if the parents don't have a healthy relationship the child may look for a mate opposite of their parents so that they don't grow up to be like them. These things may also happen subconsciously. A person might not know why they are choosing that particular mate, but it may have something to do with their past. These are just some interesting points to think about when your considering your next boyfriend or girlfriend.

If you have ever watched the Jersey Shore, you can notice that their way of living is somewhat pleasurable. The jersey shore cast holds employment at a ice cream shop, on this season, that does not require a great deal of effort, in addition, they go to clubs to have fun, the guys go to gym and do their laundry, the girls go get their nails done, they all get together for a Sunday meal and so on. Most of what it's captured on film is more or less the cast having a good time, (of course, criticism aside). The behaviors exhibited by the cast are mostly pleasurable. Let's face it we would all like to live lid that even for a day. Well, maybe not exactly like Jersey Shore. But you can the gist, living a pleasurable life is much better than living with painful events.

The main motivator for such behaviors such as going to the gym, going to the nail salon is to receive self-satisfaction. We can identify with one of these behaviors as being pleasure-seeking. You visit the gym, you get in shape, you feel good, and you feel a sense of satisfaction. Or you go to the nail salon, you get a manicure and pedicure, you look nice, and you feel content with yourself. Bentham's principle and Freud can agree that as humans, seek out and have a high amount pleasure and we all want to avoid pain. These kinds of actions can also be reinforcing to the individual and eventually even be rewarding. Once it becomes pleasurable and reinforcing the motive to how we behave becomes apparent.

Why do humans seek pleasure? They have always done it and always will. It is part of our evolution. Herbert Spencer discussed how pleasure is our means of survival, and with were to eliminate the pleasurable events in our lives we will not survive. So, next time, before you start judging the cast members of the Jersey Shore think behind the motivation for their behaviors, they simply do it because it gives them pleasure. We have all had pleasurable events in our lives where we can't explain why we behave that way. The motive is to seek pleasure, or life would not be the same and just plain painful.

Sex and Intimacy- Sexual Attraction

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpykuhypD_Y

In this video clip I was interested in seeing what attracted males and females to the opposite sex. As mentioned, it seems as if women take more into consideration opposed to males. Maybe I'm biased because I am a woman, but I believe that males seem do take physical attractiveness more serious than women. Honestly, when I first meet somebody I do take their looks into consideration. However, physical only plays a small role in what I look for in a man. I would never date someone completely unattractive, but I am so much more of a personality person.

My friends and family have frequently told me in the past "you can do so much better" and this goes along with dating someone who has the same number as you. The video we watched this week talks about 10's dating 10's and so on. Sometimes, I don't really find that to be true. I've seen many of my friends and family date people who I really do not find to be equal with them on a number scale. But then again, they could be more into different qualities, such as myself. I would be more concerned about dating someone who has an awesome personality and can make me laugh, or support me. I know of many people in my life who have dated someone SOLELY for looks and it always ends badly.

In the video I posted a woman said she can tell in the first 5 minutes whether it'd work out or not. I do have to agree with that. My last boyfriend I knew right away that we would be together as soon as I met him. Although it didn't work out for us, I knew he was someone that was my type just because of his personality and the way he came off to me right when we met. After going over that number scale of importance in a mate, it really made me think of what I tend to look for in a mate. I found looks to be not as important as many of the other qualities and it really makes me see what I find important and attractive when it comes down to a longterm relationship.

hey jealousy

After reading numerous posts on my original topic of choice which was mate value and mate selection, I got to thinking about what more I could add to what has already been said. Most of my peers have already covered what we look for in a mate. Physical attractiveness, personality traits, that magical good looking, hard working smart gene. All these things are what attracts us to a person sure, but what actually keeps us with that person? Is it lust, is it love? Do we genuinely love people for who they are and what they do for us. Do we stay as physically attracted to that same person we drooled over the first time we saw them? I can't speak for the whole world of course but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say no we don't. Attraction fades with time. We grow bored and sick of each other. Monotony sets and you get to know the person entirely too well and then boom, you hate them. This may be a tad extreme but i'm sure you all get the gist of what i'm saying. So the question is over time, what is it that keeps us with these people when every time you see another suitor you wish you were able to go chase after them like a wild animal? My vote goes to that "green eyed monster" called jealousy. Even if you yourself may be happier with another person, the thought of seeing them with anyone but yourself would drive you crazy. The level of how crazy it would drive you probably differs between men and women. The book states that men are more worried about sexual infidelity while women are more worried about emotional infidelity. So in other words gals would be more torn up over seeing their man taking another woman out to dinner, while men would be rather livid over seeing his ex get railed by some other dude. Jealousy also plays a big part in the awful sport of mate poaching. People see someone they are attracted to and then they see someone else enjoying their company. How dare they find them first they're mine?! Then the hunt is on, and once the prey of choice is acquired, then what? Stolen candy never tastes as sweet. As stated in our text, "Animals, like humans, appear possessive and guard their mates closely as if they are motivated by jealous." I believe we are all motivated by jealous when it comes to our mate. There aren't many things more sacred in this world than the one you love, and if you don't watch out someone will absolutely tranquilize your girl with a blow dart like an elephant and harvest all that sweet ivory from her tusks. However, nothing in excess is good. Jealous can lead to delusion and many awful awful things. Overprotection of your mate could very well be what pulls you apart. So be wary of the sharks in the surrounding water, but make sure not to force your sweetheart to abandon ship.